more than enough

Recently I am being reminded that Jesus is enough. In fact, He is more than enough. Last week at Cru, Alvin spoke on the sufficiency of Christ in our suffering which seemed to speak right to me and from what I've heard from other people, spoke to their hearts as well. He pointed out truths that maybe we have heard before, but need to truly believe and meditate on. In Matthew 26, Jesus is in Gethsemane before He was arrested and led to the cross. Jesus goes to pray and says, 

"My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."

Jesus knew He was about to be crucified on the cross and suffer immense pain and His Father's wrath, but He faithfully keeps praying that His Father's will be done. Do I do that? When I face suffering and trails of any kind, do I pray that His will be done rather than "I can't handle this, please take it away."? When I'm in the midst of hard times, I want to trust and rely on His sovereignty and comfort. I want to believe and trust that whatever I am facing, that God is still God and He is still good. Some verses I've been memorizing and retelling myself often are 2 Corinthians 12:8-9: 

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.    

As much as I would love this truth to remain true for me always, I know that my flesh will desire everything but Jesus. Also in Matthew 26, Jesus says to Peter, "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." I know that I want to chose Jesus and believe that He is more than enough, but I also know that sometimes my flesh will put up a fight. Sometimes I feel exhausted in fighting sin and want to give up, but then is when I need to really rely on Christ's strength and power. A friend told me recently, "Don't doubt in the dark what you've found to be true in the light." Basically, the truth I know when I'm in the "light" or a "good" place is that Jesus is enough and His love is sufficient for me; however, when I'm the "dark" or a "bad" place, I doubt that I really believe that so I need to not doubt what I've found to be true in the light. 


All this to say, I am so grateful for God's grace on me and the ways the He is so patient with me through this ongoing learning process. He has been so good to my heart and I know that when I fail Him again, He will still love me because of Jesus. I'm in a beautiful relationship with the Lover of my soul.